Sometimes life can be really hard, as hard as a car crash. One Saturday, a cousin and me started playing FIFA15 all morning long. When we got bored, we started organizing everything for a party, everything about clothes, food, our hotel room, etc. I drove him to the hotel, and then to Dairy Queen because, due to his luck, there is no Dairy Queen in Queretaro. It was 7pm, so guests started arriving to the party. So the friends I invited, which were Carlos, Amiran, Alberto and Fran arrived, and we started doing our mess. We had a really good time.
On Sunday, when all woke up, and were all hungry. We decided to go for some gorditas. When we were at the car (near Senderos), we made a turn in the car, and some distracted dude crashed on the right side of my car, I was with my friends previously mentioned, and we got scared, that’s all I will say. Even though we were scared, I always see the funny side of everything, so I was laughing. It was a nice weekend. I think I’m gonna write a book of every weekend of 10th grade, I’m having a lot of nice weekends.
Grammar mistakes.
ResponderEliminarDont let that be all you say, explain more you're thoughts, what you were feeling that moment, what it looked like. Also explain the party part, use more description on your blog.
Also I feel like transitions are lacking here.
Could fix some spelling mistakes, perfect the story, make transitions, put more detail to the accident
ResponderEliminar